Rant II: Rant Harder
My, isn't today a lovely day, the sky is blue, the birds and the bees are out... NO! The birds are little flying dinosaurs who I know try to shit on me on purpose and don't even get me started on bees, creepy little uni-minded aliens. Oh that's right, you know what this temperament of mine means...or you don't...those are the only two options, either way this is another one of Damian's Hour Long Rants! I'm not sure that name works, I can't promise it'll take an hour, in fact I can almost promise it won't, I don't think any of my blogs take more than 5 to 10 minutes to read, then add in the fact that people read at different speeds or you could get distracted while reading it, I just don't think having a specific time frame in the title is going to work. Let's try, Damian's Unknown Length of Time, Depending on Your Reading Speed and If You've Got Anything Else Going on, Rant!...ohhh, I'm so bad at titles.
But my inability to think up concise, to the point titles aside you can leave your sugar and spice and everything nice at the door. Fuck sugar! And spice is a whore! (I know this kind of language is highly unnecessary but I'm going for a certain angry/confused tone here so just try and go with it, and if you're still offended let me offer you a winking smiley poking his tongue out ;P , you like that? You did didn't you? Do I see a smile? Ahh, we cool). Although seriously I love sugar, Captain Sweet Tooth right here, toot toot, that was me blowing the horn of my sweet tooth tug boat, and spices can really make your meal pop. But these facts aren't important right now because I'm ranting, so spice is still a whore! Especially chicory.
Oh man I am so ready to rant it feels like my hearts going to explode, that's normal right? I'm pretty sure it's normal. I feel the need to wear a t-shirt that says 'Rant Champ' on the front...or possibly something cooler, as long as it included the word rant (let me know what you come up with). I want to enter some sort of worldwide rant championship, take on any would be ranters and show them how it's done, and then steal their girlfriends, and then out-rant them! That would be so sweet. I wish ranting was a food that I could just go to town on, vomit it up and eat it again. Disgusted? You should be. Because that is how ready to rant I am, maybe now you understand.
So what am I angrily ranting about today? I don't know! But I hate it!
I'm just in a ranty mood
Damian
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